'Mad Men' Season 6, Episode 12 Recap - 'The Quality of Mercy'

(AMC)

This is it you guys, the penultimate episode! When we left off last week, Sally caught Don cheating on Megan with Sylvia, sparks were flying between Ted and Peggy (and Pete and Peggy) and Bob maaaybe made a pass at Pete, (What is it about Pete? I don't get it.)

Megan and Don are just waking up, after...a night spent sleeping in Sally's room, it looks like? They are in a jumble of pillows printed with cartoon characters. "You have to pull back on the throttle," Megan says. "Please try and sleep it off," she adds, before heading out the door. So...Don Draper can't drink like Don Draper anymore.

Wait, WHAT? OH MY GOD THEY'VE KILLED KENNY! (Sorry.) Ken was just out hunting, and there was a gunshot, and now he's on the ground. Ah! I can't handle this. The episode just started.

Don is slumped down in front of the T.V., in a Homer Simpson sort of pose, unshaven and wearing his Uniform of Sadness (a.k.a. a t-shirt and a plaid bathrobe). Oh, look! There is Megan, blonde-wigged Megan, on her soap opera. Don changes the channel. Because he hates Megan's job, basically.

Betty calls the Draper house to talk about Sally. Uh-oh. Sally doesn't want to visit Megan and Don. In fact, she wants to go to boarding school. "I'll pay for all of it," Don says, feeling guilty because of that one time Sally walked in on him having sex with his mistress.

Navy is really Peggy's color. She and Ted are trying out slogans for juice, but mostly flirting. "Did you mention cran-prune sounds like a glass of diarrhea?" Ginsberg says. Good point!

Here is Don again, still in his bathrobe, when Megan walks in, with her hair teased into a towering bouffant. Harry calls. "I've got good news," he says. "What? You found a hooker who takes travelers' checks?" Don replies. But no! Sunkist wants to hire Sterling, Cooper, and Partners! Ted is working with Ocean Spray, though. So there's a conflict of interest. Sadface.

Megan and Don go to the movies, to see Rosemary's Baby, where they run into...Peggy and Ted! The awkwardness is palpable. Don's eyes dart from Peggy to Ted, Peggy to Ted. Ahh!

"I would never live in an apartment like that," Megan says of Rosemary's place, in the Dakota. Even though it was awesome. (Minus the devil worshippers.) Megan is obviously into the Drapers' sunken living room and orange color palette more.

Ken is okay, everyone! He was just shot in the eye — A Christmas Story-style — while out hunting with the folks from Chevy. He is so tired of those Chevy guys though. And he's stressed out, because he has a baby on the way. So Pete offer to take the Chevy account.

Roger and Don meet with Ted and Jim about the whole Sunkist/Ocean Spray conundrum. "Great Caesar's ghost!" Jim says when he hears the good news about the Sunkist deal. StyleBistro Challenge: Use that phrase in a sentence today. ("Here is the sandwich you ordered." "Great Caesar's ghost!") But Ted rains on his parade when he reminds everyone of the whole conflict of interest thing, and is like, "Why don't we just call our clients and tell them to expect a knife in their back." Ted is very possessive of his juice. Remember that whole “I don’t want his juice, I want my juice,” outburst from last episode?

So there's a meeting about the Chevy account, and the partners decide to give it to Pete. And Bob. Roger manages to call Ken a cyclops during the meeting, too.

"I don't want to work with you, and I don't want to stay in a hotel with you. You're sick," Pete says to Bob when the meeting's over. Bob denies that knee-gate ever happened, which infuriates Pete even more

Betty is trying to figure out why Sally wants to go to boarding school all of a sudden. Sally says something about "education." Girl, please.

Ugh, Pete. He's calling Duck, who is a headhunter now, to try and lure Bob away to another firm.

And...what? Bob is on the phone, yelling in Spanish (to...Manolo?) about Pete. "He's a snotty bastard," he says.

DON DRAPER MAKING BABY NOISES, EVERYONE. Peggy, Joan, and Ted are presenting an idea for a commercial to Don, and they ask him to play the part of the baby, and go "Wahhh." And he does! And it's delightful.

(Vine/Adam Jacobi)

Pete's mom is at the office. She needs her passport, because Manolo wants to take her on vacation, suddenly. HMMM. She tells Pete that Manolo isn't happy about the way he's been treating Bob. Oh, and she has a new nurse — Josephine. So Bob Benson is kind of evil! More evil than Pete, though?

Sally is spending the night at boarding school, as part of her interview. She's hanging out in one of the dorms, with two girls. THEN, one of the girls goes, "You're not allowed to talk anymore." And the other asks her for booze and cigarettes. Someone's about to get hazed.

Or maybe not! Creepy Glenn (remember him?) climbs in the window, with liquor bottles! And a friend in tow. Sally is safe. For now.

Duck and Pete are talking on the phone again. So, Duck has some background info on this Bob Benson guy! He didn't go to Wharton, he's from West Virginia, his parents are brother and sister, and he used to be a manservant, but one say he just ran away. "His only job opportunity was someplace dumb enough not to ask any questions," Duck says. "I've never seen anything like this." "I have," Pete adds. Bob Benson = Don Draper 2.0.

Creepy Glenn has gone into the other room with one of the boarding school girls, (Her pickup line: "Wanna read my diary?") leaving Sally alone with his creepier friend, who is hitting on Sally hardcore. ("I have really good hands," he says. Let's all say that to an attractive stranger next time we go out.) She's not into it. Probably because he's wearing mandals, and Sally has standards, okay? "You made us drive all the way over here, and suddenly you don't want to fool around?" he says. Sally tells Glenn that his gross friend is being gross, and Glenn — who maybe isn't so creepy! — makes the dude leave.

Ted is over budget for a campaign (I'm not sure which one! The sound went out on my T.V. for a minute!), and the comany's execs are pissed. There is a big board meeting about it, and there is a giant plate of cookies sitting in the middle of the table, and no one is eating them. Even though they look delicious!

Anyway, the execs want some answers, and Ted is floundering. So Don says that Ted went over budget for personal reasons. Ted looks like he about to pass out — he obviously has no idea what Don is talking about. And why should he? Don is just making things up! Finally, Don goes, "This was Frank Gleason's last idea." Ted is like "???" But Jim sees what Don is doing. "I'm afraid we have gotten a little sentimental," he pipes in. The execs are like, "You should have told us!" And everything is fine. Don has got his smooth-talking-ness back, it seems!

But Ted isn't happy. "That was your solution?" he yells at Don, when everyone else has left. Don has some issues with the way Ted has been running things, though — namely the fact that he's been letting Peggy influence his decisions. "I know your girl has beautiful eyes, but that doesn't mean you give her everything," Don says to Ted. "Everyone sees it," he continues. "You're not thinking with your head."

Are you guys ready for a Pete and Bob showdown? Because it's happening. Pete storms into Bob's office, and Bob is like "Want some coffee?" "It's no wonder that you're so expertly servile," Pete replies. So icy. "What do you want?" Bob says. Not too much actually! Pete's like, "I want you to graciously accept my apologies. Work alongside me but note too closely." Oh, and he wants Manolo to leave his mom alone, too.

It looks like Sally got into boarding school! Betty is driving her home, and she goes, "Hand me a cigarette." Then she offers Sally one! With the logic that she'd rather have Sally smoke in front of her than behind her back. "I bet your father's given you a beer," Betty says, to which Sally replies, "My father's never given me anything." Which isn't true! He's given her issues.

Peggy isn't too happy about the stunt Don pulled. "I'm just looking out for the agency," Don says. Peggy is like, "You're a monster." Then Don takes a nap on his nap couch. Everyone is a monster on this show, though! Except for Peggy, maybe. And Sally and Ken. Am I missing anyone? Who do you think is the biggest monster? Pete? Duck? (Remember when Duck turned his dog Chauncey loose on the streets of Manhattan and was like, "Have a nice life, Chauncey!") Don? Let's rank everyone in order of monster-ness before next week's episode — the final episode!
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