'Mad Men' Season 6, Episode 4 Recap - 'To Have and to Hold'

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I hope everyone has mixed their Manhattans, because we're about to recap another episode of Mad Men. Let's do this.

Remember how, last season, Don hired a secretary named Dawn, and it was very confusing for everyone at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce? "Dawn?" "Yes" "Oh, I meant Don." "Don?" "What?" "Not you. Dawn."

Anyway! We never really got a peek into Dawn's personal life. Until now! Dawn is outside of the office. At a diner. She's talking to a friend about how hard it is to meet men — "Church is impossible. You can't stand out in that crowd of harlots."


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Onto the Drapers! Don is in the elevator, and who steps in but Sylvia Rosen. Wearing disco ball earrings. And a hat and collar that look so soft you just know they're made out of something adorable. Like bunnies. Or baby seals. They begin making out immediately.

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Joan is having dinner with her mother and her friend, Kate, who works for Mary Kay. But she's thinking about going over to the dark side. And by that I mean Avon. Mainly so she can move to New York City and be closer to Joan, whose life she thinks is very glamorous. Look at all that giant brooch action.

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Meanwhile, over at SCDP, Michael Ginsberg (who has grown a brand new mustache for Season 6) is obsessing over Stan Rizzo's secret project. He's working on a mysterious account (Heinz), and he's taken to wearing a fringed suede jacket.


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We finally learn a bit more about Megan Draper's acting career! Like, her soap opera gig requires her to dress up like a French maid. And, her character has some love scenes coming up — Don does not take this development well.


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Joan finally wields some of her power — she is a partner after all — when she fires Harry's secretary, Scarlett, for leaving work early and convincing Dawn to cover for her. Harry is pissed. So he barges in on a partners' meeting. "I'm sorry my accomplishments happened in broad daylight, and I can't be given the same rewards," he says, referring to that time Joan slept with a Jaguar executive to secure an account. Burn. And then! All of the other (male) partners are like, "Scarlett's embarrassment is punishment enough." So she gets to stay. Even though Joan fired her.

Back to Dawn! She's at a diner again, telling a friend about life at SCDP: "Women crying in the ladies room. Men crying in the elevator. It sounds like New Year's Eve when they empty the garbage, there's so many bottles."

Onto Joan and Kate. They're at restaurant, pretending to be two young secretaries, out on the town. Their waiter hits on Kate, asking to meet up later.

The Drapers are out to dinner with Megan's director and his wife, but I can't pay attention to the conversation because MEGAN'S HAIR. It's so high! What does she have in there? It's way bigger than a hair donut. Maybe a hair loaf of sourdough?

Oh wait, now I am paying attention again because the lady half of the couple grasps Megan's hand and is totally hitting on her.


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And the dude half is into it. They want to become "better acquainted," with Don and Megan, they say. Swingers!


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Joan and Kate are in the back of a cab with the (very young) waiter from the restaurant, swigging whiskey from a bottle. "Let's see who kisses better," he says. The ladies are like, "Eh. Okay." Now they're in a club that looks sort of like a basement rec room, listening to Serge Gainsbourg. Kate and the waiter are making out and Joan is still drinking when a be-turtlenecked fellow approaches her. So they make out, too.

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Morning after hangover faces!

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Over at office, Don, Stan, and Pete are presenting their ads to Heinz. They're pretty simple — some shots of ketchup-less fries, hot dogs, and burgers with the caption "Pass the Heinz." Time for the episode's inspirational Don speech! You ready? "The greatest thing you have working for you is not the photo you take or the picture you paint, it's the imagination of the consumer. They have no budget, they have no time limit. And if you can get into that space, your ad can run all day." Our minds are blank billboards upon which Don Draper paints snack foods.

Ahh! When Don, Stan and Pete leave the Heinz office, they run into Peggy and her team, on their way to give their presentation. So, Don does what any mature adult would do — he presses his ear against the door and listens.

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Peggy appeals to Heinz's ego. And attacks their competitors! "They're selling their watered-down, flavorless sauce by pretending that they're you. It makes you angry, doesn't it?" she says. Then, she uses on of Don's best lines: "If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation." Her ad is simple, too. A Heinz bottle with the caption, "Heinz. The only Ketchup." Uh-oh. Don looks worried. As he should! He's been a real Dick Whitman this episode, if you know what I mean.

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Don stops by Megan's set to watch her film one of her love scenes. He is super whiney about it! Even though he is carrying on an affair with his downstairs neighbor. "You kiss people for money. You know who does that?" Don says. Ugh. This guy.

So, instead of dealing with his emotions, he goes straight to Sylvia Rosen's apartment. She's wearing a cross necklace, and looking at it makes him feel strangely guilty. "I pray for you...for you to find peace," she says. But not too guilty! He just turns the necklace around and climbs on top of her. Because he's Don Draper.

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So, Season 6 is picking up, isn't it? Don't you want to see more of Dawn now? How many more episodes until Megan finds out about this affair? Where was Betty? How funny was Megan and Don's "lolwut" response to those swingers? And, most importantly, wasn't Burt Cooper's argyle sock game on point? I'll leave you with this image.

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