week, L.C. was fuming at Kristin for daring to show up to her black and white party in a white dress
. Like it explicitly said to on the invitation. Wear black or
white. What was Kristin thinking
And this week, she's still
mad! Apparently, Kristin not only showed up properly dressed, she also left with Steph-ennnn
. So the second episode of Laguna Beach opens with L.C. drowning her sorrows the only way she knows how — under piles and piles of shopping bags. Mall trip!
"I love this place," Lo says to L.C., referring to South Coast Plaza in the sort of reverent tone usually reserved for, like, the Grand Canyon. These are their shopping outfits: (MTV)
Note L.C.'s sandblasted denim. Remember when there was no such thing as jeans that were too
sandblasted? I bet hers are True Religion.
The pair heads to MAC, where we get a closer look at Lo's getup. (MTV)
A double-ruffled skirt! I'm really glad these haven't made a comeback yet. They were really dangerous, because the superfluous ruffles caused them to stand away from your body in a way that made it impossible to tell whether or not your bits were adequately covered without looking down or patting yourself every two minutes. Lo seems to be fine, luckily.
Oh! The girls are getting their makeup done because they are going to an open mic night. More on that later.
While L.C. and Lo are shopping, Stephen is busy teaching Kristin how to surf. (MTV)
The sag on those pants would give Justin Bieber a run for his money. If Justin Bieber wasn't nine when this was filmed.
Kristin isn't really into
surfing, a revelation that turns Stephen all pouty. "If we go again you have to promise me that you actually want to do it, so you don't, like, waste our time," he says. Lots of scowling into the middle distance ensues. (MTV)
Have we met Morgan and Christina already? I can't remember, because they are SO BORING. Ughhhh.
This is Morgan. (MTV)
And this is Christina. (MTV)
It's college admissions time, and Christina is psyched that she got into Southern Methodist University. FYI — her dad, Robert Anthony Schuller, is a televangelist and minister at a megachurch in California called the Crystal Cathedral. I don't know why I want you to know that, but I do.
Anyway! Christina's best friend, Morgan, just got a letter from the only school she applied to — Brigham Young University — and she's too scared to open it. So, naturally, Christina picks up Morgan and they head to the beach to open the letter against a more dramatic backdrop. On national television. Here they are, looking anxious. (MTV)
This is where things get weird. Morgan doesn't get into BYU — remember, it's the only
school she applied to — and, upon hearing the news, Christina makes this face. (MTV)
WORST FRIEND EVER. Then, Morgan says "If I don't get in I'm still going to go up there, I'm still going to be part of the scene," which, ugh, hanging around the campus of a college you don't go to
does not sound like a good idea.
Oh, right. The outfits
. They are both wearing boring jeans and boring sweatshirts because they are boring.
While this is going on, Kristin and her friend Jessica are grocery shopping. They're making Stephen and Dieter dinner!(MTV)
Kristin's pantyhose choker is back in action. Note the mini baguette bag nestled snugly under her armpit. Oh early 2000's.
After settling on one
boneless skinless chicken breast to split amongst four people because, according to Jessica, "it's like, gross when there's a lot of chicken in your spaghetti," and debating whether or not boys like feta cheese, the girls get cooking. Spoiler alert: It doesn't go too well. This is the face Stephen makes when he tries their pasta. (MTV)
Back to L.C. and Lo! They are hilariously overdressed for Trey's open mic night. Everyone there looks like this: (MTV)
And this: (MTV)
But L.C. and Lo have spent literally all day
primping for this thing. They roll up in heels and flowy backless tops — the equivalent of evening gowns in a beach town like Laguna. (MTV)
So, naturally, they leave right away. But not before saying hello to Trey, who is wearing another one of his delightful trucker hats. (MTV)
Then, the episode's big event — the bonfire! Stephen's friend Polster tries to explain his paper on humanist psychology to L.C., who looks like she is in agony
. Like, I have never seen someone look so bored. (MTV)
L.C.'s internal monologue: "Shut up. Shut up
. SHUT UP!!!!"
Stephen and Kristin get into a fight. Kristin's crime? Answering her phone. This guy. What is it with this guy?
So, L.C. — who is wearing a simple and not-out-of-place-in-2013 striped top — decides to make her move. (MTV)
"Stephen, if you wanted someone you could have them," she says. Get it, girl. Actually, don't
. Stephen has been kind of the worst this week, hasn't he?
And...that's it! We'll be recapping again next week. Join us, won't you? Trey's Season 1 Trucker Hat Count: